I am torturing myself by reading about infertility and adoption. I go round and round in my head about how everyone must be given the right to have their own opinion but then I also feel like these comments and articles are somewhat of an attack. An attack on me and my kind (the infertile ones). Here we are longing of a child. I liken it to a wannabe actress who longs to be on stage, craves it. Well, I too crave to be in the spotlight, but of a different kind. I long to have a little one who comes to me when they are hurting, who depends on me for love, support and guidance, and who calls me Mom.
The other day I read someone who feels that adoption is wrong and children should never be severed from their “real” family so if we (those of us infertile again) really want to love a child we will accept guardianship and adoption will become illegal. My immediate reaction is HOW DARE YOU! How dare you say that we should love, care for and give our lives to a child and live in fear that you will come along any day and take the child back. This arrogance that we should just be grateful that anyone would give us a part of a child’s life since we cannot have one of our own.
Don’t get me wrong, I will be more that grateful to whomever chooses us to parent the child that she brings into this world. But I don’t believe that my fear would be good for a child. I don’t believe that I should give up my dreams of being a mother and accept whatever is given to me. I will love any child who comes into my home with all of my heart but I cannot believe that it is good for him or her to be uprooted at any time because that is what the birth mother wants.
Growing up I always new I’d be a mother, to many children I always felt. With the extra cost that may not be the case anymore but I do feel that adoption is better for the child in the end. Long term stability is much better than uncertainty I believe.