I have found myself looking down at this beautiful baby girl lately and feeling the need to pinch myself to make sure this is real. Mother’s Day was a truly wonderful day being it was my first of many. We spent the day together as a family. Ethan and I frequently saying “she’s so cute it’s ridiculous” or “she’s perfection” like most days. They bought me a beautiful diamond band with the most appropriate engraving my joy. Now I wear my wedding band to honor our marriage and my mother’s day band to honor our child.
And while we spent the day enjoying our time together and feeling pure bliss I felt the wounds of infertility fading because this year I too had joined the club of motherhood. There were times throughout the journey that I didn’t think this day would ever come. Now it has come and gone and I feel such honor to be her mother.
I thought of those who are still under the rain cloud of infertility and I hope that they are able to drift through this day with as little pain as possible. I hope that they know one day their wounds too will heal from the sweet cries of a child who longs for their comfort. Infertility will always be with me but it has helped me appreciate each tiny moment and helped shape me into the mother I am meant to be.
Even though we don’t speak I often think of her birthmother and wonder how she is, how they are. I wonder if she thinks of her and if they are doing well. That this decision they made has brought them peace knowing that she is showered with love each and everyday. Yes, they could have given her that but they chose us to be with her everyday and to have her call us Mom and Dad.
It is so hard to describe the amazing gift they have given us. Without them, their love and their choice I would not be a mother.
To all the Mom’s out there – I hope your mother’s day was pure bliss.